Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
We're young. We're supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out.
I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so I crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away.
Over the piano was printed a notice: Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial 'we'.