Quotes By Homer Simpson

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Three little sentences will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss. Number three: It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

Homer Simpson

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Homer Simpson

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Homer Simpson

Son, a woman is a lot like a... [looks around] a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um... [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Homer Simpson

Marge: "Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?" Homer: "Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."

Homer Simpson

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter?  Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.  Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer Simpson

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Homer Simpson

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

Homer Simpson