I opened-up a yoghurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yoghurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?